pisces new moon

thursday, february 27th, 2025 06:45 CST

“Delusions are flourishing” - Wesley Marse

Is it dharma or drama?

Is this your purpose or are you searching attention?

We all need attention

Sky knows that all plants need sunlight, water and air to survive

and so, too, does our human tribe.

We all search that sunlight, that surfacing in the ways we do

the internal queries and pondering of belly button and the nature of all things

the full hearted sigh

the eye rolls

the running and hiding

i was one to hide under tables

but no one ever came to find me

at some point you just keep hiding

until you realize it doesn’t meet the outcomes you seek.

so you change.

you evolve.

or stubbornly, keeping doing the same thing.

adaptability is evolution

and without hive mind, we are on our own

and limited to what is known

in order to strive.

but we are human

and limited by our own dumb pride

we need attention to survive.

service or suffering

are we doing it for the prize?

are we doing it for ambition

accolade or the acknowledgment

from another’s eyes?

In the end, it is up to us to decide

what is the most nurturing

to ourselves

to our community

and our shared lives.

*dharma is a sanskrit term that loosely translates to an aspect of truth or reality and comes from the root word “dhri” meaning to hold, support, maintain, or preserve what is established or firm. In early Vedic texts it was referred to the cosmic law that created the ordered universe from chaos.

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this lunation…
Pisces Season is that time of year when we feel the potential of things. That urgency of Spring is just beneath the surface, building itself to momentum. There are two schools of thought, I am not saying one is right or wrong, but I feel they have more to do with separate connotations — one of Neptune as the dissolving point, the twelfth house, the things that need to be let go before a new beginning and the Pisces point in the wheel of the seasons — the faith it takes to break through to a new cycle.
Both are true. I am not here to argue one paradigm or the other. Both are worth reflecting on in this time in this season of hope and loss, faith and forgiveness, and surrender to what is beyond our control — the chaos of all things.
This season’s significance is lent to the lunar nodes just beginning their reversed cycle through their seasons of Virgo (South Node) and Pisces (North Node). We’ll talk more about this axis of chaos and order, of service and suffering when we connect on the Full Moon eclipse in mid-March. For now, we consider the sacrifice it takes to let go of control and to allow Nature to do what it will.
There’s a song I often sing to myself in times of despair. Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard’s *Heavy Heart*. Back when YouTube was an infant, a former partner of mine shared this video with me of a rudimentary cartoon of a brontosaurus making its way through a big city singing its strange tune. I still have no idea what Jeffrey looks like, and I think of this dinosaur tromping through Manhattan the way I felt as an outsider making my way through that space for the course of my recovery days there 15 years ago.
*You say you got a heavy heart*
*You say you got a heavy heart*
*You say you got a heavy heart*
*And it’s hard for you to start*
*Carrying your heavy old home*
*You say you got a heavy load*
*You say you got a heavy load*
*You say you got a heavy load*
*Walking down the road*
*Carrying your heavy old heart*
*And you sure don’t know, where you're going*
*Sure don’t know, where you're going*
*Sure don’t know, where you're going*
*But I say*
*The sun don’t know, when it’s glowing*
*The flower don’t know, when it’s growing*
*The river don’t know, when it’s flowing*
*You're doing better than you know*
*You're doing better than you know*
Truly the line about *the flower doesn’t know when it’s growing* hits me hard every single time. This sense that Nature is within us and trusting that force within is powerful magic. We do not have control over outside variables, just as a flower being pollinated by a bee or cut down by a lawn mower is not within its control — sometimes it’s just about where you’ve been planted or the way the breeze is blowing — we cannot see Nature from the vast scope of omniscience, but we are within the fabric of it. Embedded into the mycelium network of life, the innate glowing interconnected force that animates and links all life, we are a part of nature. By listening to desire, to impulse, by being patient when it is time to be patient, and by taking action when it is time to take action, we make a difference in our evolution and in the lives of those we connect with.
So let’s contact the delusional factor of Neptune for a moment. Neptune and Jupiter are both affiliated with Pisces, Neptune being in its “home sign” where it is more watery, chaotic, and dreamy than in any other Season of the zodiac, and then we have Jupiter in Gemini— squaring this new moon lunation. Jupiter in Gemini relies on this network of connections to take leaps of faith required to exist within its extraordinariness. It is a talkative, flabbergasted version of its already inflated self but when focused (rare that it may be) it can influence contact and connection that will plug us into our deeper Nature or Divine self through external and internal messaging.
The “G” word is cause for contention. I wish we had better language, just as I wish I could translate Reiki into a more fitting term than “universal life force energy” which does not capture the AWE that both concepts are meant to embody. The Divine often comes with this paternal toxicity and I turn to The Parable of the Sower’s narrator Lauren Olamina for her version of God. Summarized from different sections:
*A lot of people seem to believe in a big-daddy-God or a big-cop-God or a big-king-God. God exists to be shaped. God is Change… God is Trickster, Teacher, Chaos, Clay.*
*All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you… God is change.*
In my worldview, this is Trust. Trusting change is trusting Nature. This is how we stay in “flow” or synergy to borrow the corporate term. But it’s not all surrender. We can’t just lay on the floor or completely let the current wash us away. At some point, we have to respond, and that is the nature of tension which is the initiator of change.
I tangented there, back to Neptune and delusion.
Neptune and the Twelfth House are a watery and foreboding territory of unknowns. It is that ocean of everything I call to so often, that deep darkest void where we are enveloped in unknowns. The ultimate chaos is the unknown. Death is unknown. The space between what is dying and what is born or living is unknown. It is a territory we can make suggestions about but even with Moody’s work on the afterlife and near-death survivors, even with the Tibetan and other culture’s books of the dead — it is all anecdotal.
This is what leads to my teaching style with Reiki, with Astrology, with any Spiritual stuff.
If someone tells you that they know the answers to your existential questions: RUN. Don’t walk, run.
I’m reviewing Reiki manuals written by the teachers of my lineage and the new age garbage is heavy. The spiritual gaslighting is heavy. The only merit I can find in it is the psychological ownership of our circumstances and the power to make changes where we may.
Grant us the Serenity
to accept the things we cannot change
courage to change the things we can
and the wisdom to know the difference
The Serenity is where we meet Pisces. How we arrive at Serenity is the Delusion.
Substances are one path to temporary Serenity. Escapism in the form of [fill in the blank] whether it is television, stories, exercise, beliefs, religion, sex, relationships, most human behaviors, and patterning is a form of delusion.
When it gets toxic is when we ask others to adhere to our delusion. It becomes vile when we bend others will to achieve our delusion.
***[Gestures broadly at our political landscape]***
As a 0’ Pisces Moon, I would love to offer you some suggestions on surrender as it appears to be my dharma this lifetime.
I would advise you to surrender.
But as an Aries Sun, I get in fist-fights with God. I fight Nature, I fight myself on the regular. That’s my drama this lifetime.
***dharma or drama,*** we all are finding our way down the winding roads of chaos and order, the tension that builds and destroys life. If we can learn to trust ourselves and our Nature, we can respond to the Nature that is outside of us. Both are one and the same. We are not victims alone but participants, passersby, main characters, and NPCs*.

*non-player character for you millennials, Xers, and Boomers in the audience

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portrait taken by Pisces photographer Whitney Kopp @whit.kopp February 2025

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NOTES FROM THIS ONE…

Pisces is chaos.
The unordered, raw material of life. It’s the stuff of life, the spark, the essence. Without that stuff, there is nothing to shape, nothing to cultivate. That comes with the Virgo opposing point, the Full Moon Eclipse later this Season.
For now, it is chaos.
For those of you attuned to social media and plugged into these bi-monthly reports, you know that I have some chaotic energy surrounding my life.
The more I try to control it, the more it slips. The tighter I grip, the more suffering that occurs.
I wish I could say let-go was easy, but I am still learning that lesson. I am staying true to desire, true to my essence, and true to my own chaos I’m trying to shape (very gently).
I am in Florida at the moment I write this, and it’s green and lush and not covered in snow. But I miss my dog and I am ready to come home.
On a whim, I booked a trip, a flight, a leap of faith to connect with an old friend of mine from other chaotic times in my early recovery from substance use disorder (still sober). Priscilla Aleman is an incredible creature I met as a young artist with a full ride to Cooper Union in NYC. We met at a Yoga teacher training in 2010 from the now-defunct Yoga to the People (just google it— talk about DELUSION).
Priscilla is a multi-disciplinary performance and sculpture artist with one foot in Miami and one foot in New York City. I slept on her floor for a while in her tiny (I mean TINY) studio on Varick Street where I would hit Midnite meetings on Houston (hey-o!) and in exchange she had access to my form. Alginate, plastered, shivering, sweating scrubbing with petroleum-based soap to get the gunk off me, there are literal sculptures of me that have been evolving over 15 years. Sometimes these beings lay dormant in closets, in storage areas, in hallways. Some of them were covered in fish, and plaster limbs photographed in the Hudson River.
I guess there are echoes of me living at Cooper Union off St. Mark’s Place in the East Village.
In all this grief, I have turned to art and inspiration to capture what is about to change—— a mastectomy is about to remove parts of me, and a reconstruction is meant to hold the place where real tissue once lived. It is a mind-f*ck, to say the least.
I spoke with a friend, Maggie Suits, who cracked a joke about bronze tits and I wrote it down on a sticky note, next to Priscilla’s name. About a week later, Priscilla hit me up on Instagram with portraits of the evolving sculpture, now with backward feet and hair to its knees in honor of a mythical figure.
Where are you right now?
Miami.
Milwaukee.
How can I get to you?
And this is what initiated the trip. Words and a sticky note. An invite from a friend. A Winnebago also called Cherry and the desire to be in water, in my body, using my arms before the surgery and recovery period of “t-rex” arms as the surgeon put it.
I spent Thursday driving to Miami and on a porch, sharing life and ten years past since Priscilla crashed in my spare room in the Monarch Luggage Lofts in Red Hook. The trust I feel with her, the beauty and adornment, and her way of being is so precious. Many years ago she wrote to me and said “I aspire to sculpt the way that you write.”
And I hope to write the way that she sculpts and performs— with my whole being.
It’s been a whirlwind of a week. I’ve spent more time crisscrossing Florida this week— to Miami and back to Tampa and down to the Keys, in a car with Zander, in a van alone.
I paddle boarded, I snorkeled, I kayaked, I beached, I camped. Alone. I wept for my breasts and my life and my past and my future and all the things out of my control. Grieve, I keep telling myself. Grieve. That’s what we need to do. There is no fighting this. There is no fixing this. We surrender. Just grieve. Process. Compost this sadness. Let there be light on the other side.
I am reminded again and again by loved ones that in this dark tunnel, I am surrounded by light.
I find hope in art, in my connections. I am deeply infused and uplifted by the love of my community and by acts of requesting and receiving love. I am learning so much about receiving right now as my compulsion is to give, to show up to connect, and to offer something. Right now, this is truly about asking and receiving because presence and connection are the only that that will get me through this.
Dissociating, checking out, existing in denial — all of these are shadow Pisces. This is not the time— not individually or collectively.
stay inspired.
ursidae