Eight things learned/unlearned while developing conscious living habits.
from someone who has been through the disturbing and liberating practices, techniques, schemes and truth of spiritual development since the 1990s
number one:
If it sounds too good to be true— it probably is.
Predatory behavior upon the curious, the emotionally vulnerable is something to be aware of. Just like get-rich schemes, any workshop claiming you can change your life overnight
(for only $3,333!) is suspect. Pre-paying for a ten pack of “ultimate” breathing sessions or buying the blessed candle or healing crystal that promises to fix your love life or health problems should be avoided. You are the healer — always— so be discerning when you are choosing to work with a teacher or guide. Ask questions- you are in the power position of choice.
Book a consult and ask questions: who are you? Why are you qualified to guide me through this coaching journey? Can you explain your cost break down? How many hours of 1:1 time is this? Are these recordings? Be curious. A genuine practitioner will never sway from this kind of questioning and you should get a gauge on whether or not you like this person enough to support their work. Are they interested in you? Are they curious about your happiness and well-being? Or is it a sales pitch?
Maybe this practitioner is trying to create a cost effective program that values both yours and their time. There’s such a thing as over or underpriced and that’s worth investigating.
Ask yourself if you got drawn in by a shiny advertisement or if you were drawn in by this person’s truth.
And do remember — the practitioner, even if experienced, may be nervous about extending themselves into the world. This is a good thing. You want confident but not too confident.
number two:
Avoid MLMs: multi-level marketing
See #1.
There are whole documentaries exposing MLMs and their predatory nature — and on female identifying individuals, specifically. Earn money fast! just sign your friends up, ours is the best, our training is legitimate, etc.
Often their formulas are great, BUT they are proprietary AND have all the stuff you want in them/can only get from them based on your research, and if you sign up NOW you get a subscriber discount and if you sign up your friends, we’ll give you a steeper discount!
These companies will bring you to trainings and give you a print off certificate and you will have enough knowledge to be potentially dangerous to yourself and others — and it’s usually because of your well intentioned desire to break free from allopathic and traditional medicine in a system that fears naturopathy. Be warned! You don’t want to join a cult and you don’t want to alienate yourself from your friends and family because you accidentally drank the (well intended) kool-aid.
Which leads me to #3
number three:
Don’t Ingest Essential Oils
There are some generally safe-to-ingest essential oils that can be taken in small quantities (citrus, for example). Veriditas by Pranarom has a safe guideline use chart that is helpful for certified organic essential oils, but, generally it is a poor idea to ingest essential oils which are HIGHLY potent (ex. 1 drop of lemon EO = 100 lemons). Use discretion, utilize a naturopathic physician trained at a reputable university — not a two week intensive— and dilute essential oils when using topically with a carrier oil.
Consider Aromatherapy as an original path and purpose for essential oils. Diffusing in water, cotton balls or in a spray mist are safe, studied and effective.
number four:
If they say they are beyond organic or do not need third party verification- RUN. And… a not on crystals.
This is suspect af. I don’t think I need to explain that if you don’t want your sauce tested for extra ingredients - it’s likely because you’re hiding something. Many of the big name MLMs have gotten in BIG trouble for abuses in sourcing or over harvesting endangered plants in the name of profit. Just because its trending doesn’t meant there isnt something similar, local and traditional of great therapeutic value you can source ethically. Consumerism is really challenging because shiny is shiny: we like pretty things that we feel we need. Sales people are good: their purpose is to create the desire for something you probably don’t need.
Crystal/gemstones have gathered another surge of popularity in the last five years, causing a sourcing shortage, a demand peak and effective rise in costs for purveyors and purchasers. Behind every shiny is a story, and some of those stories are human labor abuses. Do your research. Ask yourself why a rare stone sourced from acrossed the world is of more significance to you than a stone you found while out on a nature rock? Is it because someone has attributed meaning and story to it? What is it with the power of stories that shift our minds to believe one thing is more important than another? Quartz is ubiquitous, universal, widely available and a powerful transmitter of energy (quartz is used in many batteries, after all.) This is about mindful and conscious consumption.
number five:
There is no “spiritual diet” except for one that’s led by intentionality.
There is no one size fits all diet. Listen to your body, experiment if you must, and avoid disordered eating patterns (i.e. orthorexia or the compulsion towards “clean eating” which may lead to isolating yourself from meal gatherings or only consuming your own food, fear around food patterning). If you are an omnivore, vegetarian, vegan or other, great. Know thyself. Clue yourself into fad marketing, educate yourself on food and its sources, i.e. local vs imported impact, etc.
number six:
Don’t Avoid the Obvious.
When we step into spiritual research, there’s a tendency to want to go beyond the elephant in the room and focus on the subtle spiritual dilemmas. You may go into retreat or therapy to seek an existential or past life cause for current suffering ... meanwhile your toxic relationship patterns, substance abuse disorder or co-dependency is a seething and obvious source for your dis-comfort. Maybe it connects to your past life in a harem or in a power dynamic, or maybe you just need to dig your heels in and do the work. No workshop is a magic wand for doing the hard stuff.
Spiritual Bypassing, a term first coined by John Welwood in 2000, describes “the tendency to use spiritual practice to bypass or avoid dealing with certain personal or emotional unfinished business." Welwood states that persons struggling with life's developmental challenges are particularly susceptible to spiritual bypassing, as they attempt to find themselves by giving themselves up or prematurely trying to move beyond their ego to self-transcendence, ignoring their personal and emotional needs. This attempt to create a new "spiritual" identity in order to avoid the pain of working through unresolved psychosocial issues does not work and frequently causes additional problems.
number seven:
You don’t get to skip meditation
Sorry.
We all try to get around doing this basic noble practice of “making friends with ourselves” but it is the key to unlock the doors of potential.
When we know ourselves -
we don’t get to bullshit ourselves.
Meditation isn’t some travel destination and it is accessible to everyone. It’s not about quieting the mind - it’s about observation and allowing yourself to just be.
Which leads me to #8…
number eight:
When we accept ourselves exactly where we are on our path—
that is when true change becomes available.
Most of us are not as evolved as we think we are AND many of us are much further along that we give ourselves credit for.
When we know our strengths and our weaknesses, we can’t avoid them. We can embrace our magic and our power and be willing to gaze head on our shadow work…
Shadow work is tricky because it is exactly that — in the shadows and outside of the light of our consciousness.
You are exactly where you need to be — and when that is embraced —
your potential is limitless.
Ursidae is a mentor and author, providing guidance to clients using astrological insights, a background in Buddhist philosophy and a long history of perceptual and intuitive development. They guide others through a Mentorship Program in self-development, intuition building and reconnecting with the power of one’s own personal depths. They have a Masters in Social Work and aspire to show others how to combine the mundane with the sacred.
