taurus new moon
tuesday, may 7th, 2024, 8:22 PST
feeling fragile
your ambition and reality
may not be collaborating.
separate roles with separate agendas
stop or go. rest or press on.
this reality where
we must check our temperature,
hydration level,
electrolyte balance,
nutritional ratios
where at best, we can function
at worst, we don’t survive
do you feel limited or liberated by your physical boundaries?
the mind an unstoppable force where
the body can be that immovable object.
united they are stable, generative
in conflict, untameable
a storm digesting itself
tornadoes spiraling
destroying, without discernment, all in its path
we tend to think of Taurus as generally constructive
but all creative forces are destructive forces
Taurus is the raw, unprocessed material
Taurus is also the trained eye and hand.
with intention
herbs and plant matter
become sacred medicine
without awareness: sometimes poison
it takes skill
to identify which plant is which
it takes skill
to know what parts and when to pluck
which root, which stem, which seed or leaf
must be tamped, dried, derived or discarded.
nature knows
the antidote
is within reach
if you know where to look for it.
the astrological unpacking section
The Sun and Moon conjoin at the 18’ degree of Taurus, closely attuned to Uranus (22’) and Jupiter (25’). Taurus in their home sign of Venus is just a breath away from this cojunction of the Sun and Moon.
When planets are in a stellium lay out, we see a collapse of energy. Though the planets are cascaded acrossed the universe in distant layers, these alignments and conjunctions are not about reconciling opposites but harmonization.
I recall my friend Lisa sharing with me the experience of co-regulating during pregnancy, that heartbeats have to find their synchronization between parent and child —-even if the energy of the two are very different.
The energy of Uranus in Taurus is unique to the Jupiter in Taurus energy. These planets have different motivations and that will express differently in the sign of Taurus. Their conjunction sparks and infuses their energy. The Moon and Sun have different motivations — the moon’s need for security in Taurus vs. the Sun’s need for , lets say, nourishment and expression. Both luminaries have a similar desire, but the urge may be louder in one than the other or become in conflict as they both try to sort having their needs met.
Add Uranus to this equation. Add Jupiter to this equation. This might be an example of the conversation:
Moon: My little self needs to feel safe and to have my needs met. I know I am resourced but can’t always see my resources.
Sun: I am resourced and feel satiated and abundant.
Uranus: I feel creative and resourced and want to express my authenticity. Potentially — I would love for that to benefit others so that everyone feels resourced!
Jupiter: I have a vision of how we can all feel resourced and abundant and may be able to provide the big picture to make that possible.
Meanwhile, Mercury - our faculty of communication, thinking, connecting the dots is still in survival mode after being in Retrograde and trying to catch up on old business. It’s kinda like if you were to get home from the office after catching up on backlog of work tasks that were put on hold due to other priorities, and then you get home and there are still dishes to be done and laundry to be folded and there is so much shit to do and you never ever feel like you’ll be able to catch up.
Additionally, Mercury in Aries conjoined to Chiron in Aries (21’) and semisextile this lunation and to Uranus there are less conversations between the planets and more of a reconciliation happening between all their different desires.
Chiron is going to be telling a story about how this will always be this way. That life is utterly chaotic and that it will always be this way and that is feeding in to Mercury’s perception of the situation. The story being told is that life is so hard. Meanwhile, the Sun and Venus et al. are hanging in Taurus, not really “on board” with all this task master stuff. They want to go sit outside and soak up the Sun or make a snack. Mercury and Chiron are not really feeling this nonsense. Not one bit.
Saturn in Pisces is sextile the New Moon adding another layer to this lunation. Saturn in Pisces is probably the most hopeful of all the Saturn iterations. It has some level of faith — dare I say OPTIMISM??— that everything will work out. It’s the cheerleader/teacher/mentor in the background telling you to keep going… that on the otherside of all this stupid, something really good will be there.
Pluto, recently retrograde, is making its move back towards capricorn and currently is sextile to Mars. We have the Power Twins in harmonics and albeit they are in respective air and fire energy — there is a lot of UMPH available if we reach for it. If our sleepy Taurus stellium energy is honored (take that nap, eat that snack) we can pull up the resource of anger, passion, creative, hidden, innate power available to you, inborn and gathered over a lifetime.
Neptune and Mars are six degrees apart, Neptune at the critical final degree of Pisces, in its domicile (home sign) since 2011. This is a recipe for frustration, water pouring over the Aries Mars, creating steam, creating delusion, add that Pluto Aquarius aspect in there and you have a lot of foggy energy and heavy that can pull you into the underworld of all the potential realities that could or could not exist. That potential in this is to use your energy, feed the fire that it will burn hot enough to dissolve the fog and offer clarity into the tasks at hand. Steam is powerful when channeled properly.
acorns has been a financial ally in helping me “squirrel” away small amounts of money since 2021. As a small business owner, Taurus season reminds me about security, and resources. Check out Acorns and get $5 when you start investing today
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NOTES FROM THIS ONE…
UGGHGHGHGhghhhhhhhhhhhHHHhhHHGHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
PHHHHooooooooooooOOooohhhhoooooooooooooo
Hopefully reading that in your head prompted you to make the sounds out loud or to take a deep breath and sigh all this tense fuckery of energy out.
I read all these surface astrology reports that are like — omg, this is gonna be such a feel good lunation, and I’m looking at this like… uhhhhhhh maybe? Like, maybe? For somebody out there. But for most of us dealing with our transformation work and creative work and energy work and soul work and stuff work … we don’t get a reprieve. I don’t feel like the planets are on vacation which means neither are we. As family, as relatives to these celestial giants, I don’t think that we are off the hook.
I am writing this as a way to evade more homework.
That’s right. You are my procrastination audience. Hello, hi, how are you?
I’m in the final push, the last week of class, the last week to turn in assignments and then term papers and final exams and then I graduate. Which feels weird. This past two years has gone by so swiftly and just when I start feeling like I am getting a grasp on a topic, a subject, relating with a professor, with a class, I am ripped from that environment and set into the next one. “Jump through this hoop now.”
And my goodness have I learned that I love to perform. Even in a NEUROSCIENCE class I am getting an A. I have straight As. Even my sort of meh efforts exceed the expectations of a university and I have found myself making life extra challenging by taking on more: a Buddhist course with Dharma Moon, attending conferences on Suicidality and anti carceral methods and consent based therapy practices, starting an Artist Way group, continuing therapy, writing my reports, meeting with clients, trying to establish a routine in a different country, learning a language, and like, you know, making a giant list of WISHES AND WANTS AND DESIRES to keep creating the life I imagine for myself. I like when things are hard. I like when there is a challenge. I like when there is tension because that’s when I can recognize when I feel really ready to rest, really ready to relax.
But I also really want things to be easy.
Most of my contemplations of late have been on desire and on pleasure. To do this I have to turn back towards my little self and really do the soul searching of what she wants because cookies and back massages are not enough to sustain the variety of experiences we can enjoy in a body.
Having the kind of brain I do, I need a LOT of stimulation to get to a point where I can surrender. Whether that is a really intense ride at a carnival or multiple forms of sensation coming at me at once (sound, site, smell, taste, touch) I have to ride a fine line between being understimulated and overstimulated.
I looked at this chart and was like : yup. There it is. All this desire, all this want, these divesting interests, these contradictions of purpose and perspective are exactly what its like to be human. That we have all these different parts of us that have so much that they want, that some of the parts don’t feel heard, that some of them have given up because they aren’t given enough attention.
I feel like there is room for all of it. And there is room for compromise. And there is room for conversation.
I have this small journal of lists at the moment and I was shocked at how many categories of my life there are. Finish these tasks for school. This is the next set of tasks for examinations, licensure and oh yea ALL the questions you don’t know the answers to in this moment when people ask you “what’s next?” I have a list of art project and writing projects. I have my collaboration with astrologer Ryan Evans, I have to figure out if and how Baja is a part of my life moving forward or where home is.
Sitting in the conundrums is part of Taurus wonder… like WHAT is gonna happen this year? What is going to sprout? What seeds that I am planting now will actually be sticking by harvest in Virgo season or ready to be composted by Fall in Scorpio times?
So I just sit with it. I try not to be productive but rather generative or still or filling my cup somehow. Writing these reports allow me a space to process and an audience to share with and I will say it again and again:
Thank you for showing up for me as much as I desire to show up for you.
I will leave you with the Four Dharma’s of Gampopa which I often repeat to myself when I feel all squiggly and torrential in mind/spirit.
*Dharma meaning an aspect of truth, reality, nature of the universe. We are essentially asking the universe to fold our heart minds into its being.
Grant your blessings so that my mind may be one with the dharma.
Grant your blessings so that dharma may progress along the path.
Grant your blessings so that the path may clarify confusion.
Grant your blessings so that confusion may dawn as wisdom.
stay inspired.
ursidae
