BLUE MOON IN CAPRICORN
SUNDAY, JULY 21, 2024, 03:17 PST
yours to bear
If you knew the key to your healing
would you take it?
How long would you hold it in your palm
play with it
contemplate the curves and inconsistencies
of its teeth?
Would you ponder its origin story?
Would you want to meet the key maker?
How long would you deliberate
before it was time to open the door?
In that hem and haw
would you clench your jaw
waiting
to walk through?
How long you’ve agonized
How long you’ve sought for truth.
What does it take to learn a lesson?
How many scars must we sustain
before we learn to be more skillful
with ourselves?
What does it mean to prioritize yourself
when you’ve distracted yourself
carrying the weight for everybody else?
If you had the key
would you connect it to the keyhole?
Would you be brave enough to
turn the mechanism
unlatch
unlock
The clicking may be unnerving
a relief
met by terror
of an unknown path ahead.
Would you be fearless in your entry
to the future?
Would you be careless in leaving
the past behind?
Would it feel good?
Would it feel sad?
What if it felt like everything all at once?
We prepare ourselves
for emotional treading
such as this
by experiencing it all
one bit at a time.
You can handle this.
You can carry this.
Because the load is finally yours
and only carry what is yours to bear.
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HOROSCOPES
A true Blue Moon is when two Full Moons fall within a zodiacal season. Here in Cancer, we had a Full Moon in Capricorn fall close to the solstice on the 21st and another fall on the final degree of Cancer on the 21st of July, just before the Sun enters Leo. Often Blue Moons are referred to as two Full Moons within one month — but this is the real deal, folx.
What. A. Doozy.
Sealing off a Pluto cycle from 2008-2024, this Full Moon in Capricorn conjoined with Pluto who is currently retrograding BACK into the last degrees of Capricorn. Technically, Pluto is at 0’55” Aquarius, thus, some astrologers are taking wiggle room for interpretation. The concept: this is the last Capricorn Full Moon when Pluto finalizes a transit within Capricorn for another 248 years.
Pluto was last in Capricorn between 1762 and 1778 (The US has natal Pluto at 27’ Capricorn that’s been activated by its Pluto return since approx. 2020).
To put things in perspective, Pluto won’t return to Capricorn until 2255. Pluto as an outer planet in astrology is truly a generational reflector. In our lifespans, we only see a 1/3 of its evolution through the Seasons of the zodiac.
Okay, so here is your meditation to consider:
Aries Sun/Rising: what themes have repeated since 2008 connected with how you see yourself as a public entity? Not that you are, like, an elected official, but this idea of being part of a greater forest, that you have a role to play in the world. How do you see yourself differently in this context from back in 2008? Have you been humbled? Have you found what you truly love? The old “I’m rubber and your glue” analogy comes in strong to consider what has stuck, and what has slid off of you through these years. How has your career evolved and have you found an authentic ground for you to stand on when it comes to being seen or taking up space? How is that healing your family/ancestral wounds thing going?
Pisces Sun/Rising: 2008 feels like a lifetime ago but consider what dreams or visions you had for yourself in the future. Have you been willing to take risks for yourself to actualize those dreams? Where has fear or being stuck in your head or overfocusing on another person(s) prevented you from helping yourself? Have you found a community that sees and supports you? Have you broken free from ones that held you back or sought only for your service and not your self-actualization?
Aquarius Sun/Rising: Looking towards the inner self, how have you grown through misunderstandings of who you are? In what ways since 2008 have you liberated yourself and sought your authentic way of moving through this world as an embodied being? Have beliefs that once stood as your foundation been dissolved? Has the magic carpet being pulled up from under you revealed spaciousness or insecurity?
Capricorn Sun/Rising: Your journey since 2008 has been one of transformation. Not to call you a phoenix rising from the ashes, but consider what you have been through. How has your pain and change re-enforced or dissolved your identity? How has it felt to rely on others when you may previously have believed you could only rely on yourself? Lean in and let go.
Sagittarius Sun/Rising: What does it mean to have everything stripped from you and recognize that you still have resources available? What does it feel like to have everything washed away so you can settle into an understanding that you have all the skills you need to survive? If you look at the landscape of your journey from 2008 until now, how has your journey fortified you and helped you to see who you truly are?
Scorpio Sun/Rising: How has your childhood self informed your adult self through all this? The compost heap of patterns and past damages that root into the neighborhoods and situations of your childhood and adolescence have rippled through time into these years of healing. Who and how can you trust better? How can you discern who your inner circle is? How can you lean into your community to support you in the healing process?
Libra Sun/Rising: What is home? Where is home? Is home the people you are with? Is it the idea of home you are seeking? How is your relationship with your parents, particularly the hidden parent who may not have been as present along the way? There may have been more poignant periods of healing your childhood home vs. building the foundation for your adult one, and as the wind has swept away relationships, people, and places that served you at one point but no longer do, what is at the core? What still stands in that wreckage?
Virgo Sun/Rising: As we finish up this cycle, Virgo, there is a great harvest. What is there to keep and what is there for the compost heap? As you have been learning to express yourself, you may have had periods of isolation and other periods of outward expression that may have surprised you. As you have been pulling down and rebuilding yourself, your expression, and your joy, take a moment to enjoy all this hard work to clear space for you.
Leo Sun/Rising: Your definition of service has vastly been altered in this season of Capricorn. Your relationship with yourself, with time has been as deeply impacted as your relationships with others and what it means to relate. Service vs. sacrifice would be my meditation for you in learning how trying to be “good” has gotten in the way of you being real. What does it feel like to loosen the grip on a day? What does it feel like to let go of the activities that solidified your identity? What parts of your health and well-being have helped you to see yourself and your relationship with time? What held beliefs have crumbled to give way to living your life in this moment rather than in your head or in an idealized future?
Cancer Sun/Rising: Since 2008 think about self in the context of relationships — the important ones. The long term, committed, ride-or-die types of relationships you have navigated. Recognizing that all things, including relationships, fade away, what has your love and devotion to others taught you about yourself? How has commitment taught you about consistency? What has consistency provided in gaining traction on the ebbs and flow of feelings, of life navigations, and even those relationships that dissolve?
Gemini Sun/Rising: “Life’s a bitch and then you die” is one of those old sayings from middle school that doesn’t seem to fade from memory. Gemini friend, there has been a mountain of loss, a mountain of intimacy, a mountain of reconnection, of facing fears, of confronting a stark reality that has strengthened your (metaphorical) calves and given you a steadfast stance that is unshakeable. Reflect on all the big, dumb, hard, heartbreaking things you’ve experienced, and give yourself a butterfly hug. Keep that nervous system regulated, hydrate, and keep going.
Taurus Sun/Rising: Just a reminder that you are doing, even when you aren’t doing. You are moving even when you are not moving. Finding that stillness within you and standing firm on the intricate root system you have come from reveals that you are strong. What have the last Capricorn years since 2008 allowed you to achieve? Have you extended your branches into the world? Have you connected with people who were nothing like you or your childhood self? Have you been willing to look at things from a different angle?
thank you to my beloved friends Dani y David for making this a particularly precious moonrise.
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more stuff about this lunation:
This Full Moon is a disassembly of any false structures, shaking you down to see what your core is made of, what matters, and what is solid for you when the wreckage is cleared.
While describing this Moon in Capricorn conjunct to Pluto, my partner compared it to the tower in Annihilation of the Southern Reach Trilogy— a Tower but a Tunnel.
A tower that climbs you into the subterranean.
Pluto, lord of the subterranean realms offers us minuscule glimpses into the subconscious activity at play in our lives. If you’ve not had a look into Carolyn Love’s book Existential Kink, the exploration into the villains in our lives that we set in place to make us look like the good guys or the villains we project into our lives that are saviors preventing us from stepping into ur own power. We give external objects (people, situations) power because we are often intimidated to take it, afraid of what we are made of or what we are capable of.
With Mars and Uranus, Neptune involved here— I feel like that tower (your spiritual and emotional growth journey these past 16 years) is being bombarded by glamorous fireworks and figurative 💣 explosions.
This is the moon to test your mettle.
What are you made from? What is truly important to you when everything else is stripped away? What core foundations are at the root of what you have built?
What that reveals is what is flimsy. What is substantial? It reveals what the most important things are in your life — what is unsubstantial that you value? What relationships, emotions, values — what gives you security and meaning when you are naked and vulnerable?
Venus's contacts with the lunar nodes emphasize the karmic play of relationships and your relationship WITH relationship.
NOTES FROM THIS ONE…
I have been journaling every day since April. That is over 100 days, 3 pages a day of ranting, wreckless writing.
The permission that comes on paper is liberating for me. I have always felt I am my most authentic self on paper because it doesn’t lie. Paper doesn’t make eye contact. Paper doesn’t make faces at me. Paper doesn’t have my projections onto it, it is a blank space, my perfect chaos canvas for me to play.
What I have found is that I am angry. What I have found is that I am boring. That I have no more profound realizations or existential revelations as a result of writing. That I am just another dude living in late-stage capitalism, believing the lies of enoughness and criticizing an aging body that has survived ridiculous self-abuse and has provided me as much pleasure as it has pain.
I’m more aware of all the stupid annoying incessant blockages that are preventing me from meeting me and experiencing success and independence and so many other things I am reaching for.
Life is currently chaotically nebulous, as I believe Cancer season is famous for. You take a step and that boulder you were about to bound on is gone, replaced by slippery moss, or a big log that looks a bit sketchy to put all my weight on.
Living in that unknown is the most spectacular and horrific experience for someone who (literally) teaches on impermanence and trust.
What my pages reveal to me is how much more work I have to do on myself. That I love how much experience I have digested and there is still so much more for me to integrate.
I hope you know you are never finished. You are never done refining, but you can always take a break when it feels frustrating.
stay inspired.
ursidae
