Gemini Full Moon
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2024, 03:02 CST
power in the pause.
take a deep breath
close your eyes
what do you perceive inside?
what
is the barrier
between me
and everything else?
the ego
the solidity of self.
the story about the story
that we tell about ourselves.
attachments and philosophies
derived from selective bias
and derived perception
of every experience
you ever registered
(or did not register).
what is a personality?
what is me?
is it only everything I can see or perceive?
What is the conclusion?
what is to come?
how can I flip to the end of the book
when I'm limited to only watching it unfold?
what’s going to happen?
what can I predict?
how can I prepare for all the things
impossible to foresee?
every day a movie
some days I am watching
somedays i observe
Sometimes i am the star
others i’m an extra
i’m a thing
i’m a being
i’m a thought
i’m a body
i’m a story
i tell myself.
how can i be present
when these thoughts
they never end
how can I endure
this pain, this grief, this tickle,
this posture, this presentation
this call, this argument
how can i endure the endless cycle
the story
of life and death?
to everything, there is a beginning
a middle
and an end
but in holographic reality
it’s all a spiral
an ouroboros
that never ends
but if that’s the truth
then what's the point
if this cycle never ends?
why climb the staircase
ladder
mountain
if we’re only meant to turn
and climb again?
perhaps it is to see beyond the scope
of self
to saturate one’s consciousness in the belief
that cells divide
that nature knows
that nothing
and everything
matters
that trust
in the chaos
that trust
in desire
is enough.
you are enough.
an ouroboros, a snake consuming itself. Associated with Mercury, with alchemical processes, it represents the beginning, the middle and the end and life’s endless transformation.
Welcome to the Moon Mailer
Those who know my story know that “my mom is/was the astrologer” and for me, energy work has always been my calling in other forms… typically, through my hands and voice, my writing. Then my mom challenged me that astrology IS energy work.
Those of you who’ve joined me for the six years I’ve produced these moon meditations, I appreciate you and feel honored by your attention, sporadic emails of revelation, and patronage of my services, classes, and offerings.
The Format:
a) planetary poetry/musings
b) astrological jargon and deeper interpretation
c) random thoughts, often an additional poem, play, inspiration, quote, photograph or rant about society, corruption, oppression or something whimsical. tends to depend on the mood (mine or the moon’s).
d) “notes from this one” refers to me, being a bit more direct about stuff happening in my world that I don’t mind sharing. I like being vulnerable because it helps me process things and I’m told it helps others to feel more human. So that’s good.
the Moon Mailer is free.
I consider the Moon Mailer an offering. This is my work and a heartfelt outpour. The financial gifts and tips sent via Venmo @laurenkhickman or a monthly contribution to Dragon Dāna as a teaching offering help provide the platform. Thank you.
Dāna (dahna) is a tradition of supporting spiritual teachers through gifting —financial or other support.
Your donations and commitment to the material keep me motivated and help to cover the annual costs of website domains and all the add-ons. This is also my opportunity to offer value and advertise that the Moon Mailer is only one facet of Ursidae.
I am here to be of service.
I provide peer support/therapeutic coaching, astrological readings, reiki energy balancing, and now mentorship accompanied by years of metaphysical education, herbal and nutritional education, and studies in anthropology and psychology to serve you and help doula you through the darkness.
You can read about my background, commitment to ongoing education, my path as a clinical social worker (i.e., psychotherapist), and commitment to educating other healers (and those seeking healing) without causing harm.
Here, you will get me raw, directly sent to your inbox. I’ve been putting the work up on my blog WORDS in the archives of my beautiful website.
Enjoy. <3
lauren k. hickman, MSW
this lunation
this is the last full moon of 2024.
what. a. year.
This lunation is a fleeting moment. Fleeting moments have power. A moment in time can change everything. A choice in a fleeting moment can change the course of the history— of a life and lives. It all adds up to now. Every variable, every choice, and every desire ever enacted has culminated in this moment. Everything that has ever been has poured into now.
We have two powerful processors of the zodiac playing their part: the role of the Sun, the great vitalizing force, in the season of Sagittarius. Sagittarius in the system of astrology I care to attach to is the final season of the year… it is the squeeze of the last out-breath, the last air from the lungs of the year before the annual New Moon point— the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year— when everything begins again.
Sagittarius has a synthesis and storytelling capability, unlike any other season. It has been through it all— from the coldest to the brightest, sunniest, from the planting to the crop and to the death of the garden. It knows what it’s talking about… at least from its perspective.
Perspective is Gemini’s cup of tea. But Gemini is wishful thinking, ambition, and connection. Gemini is the frenetic season of spring moving into Summer. Sagittarius is the frenetic season of Fall shifting into Winter. These are hurried energies. There is a lot to prepare and a lot to put to bed in these seasons.
With the Full Moon being in Gemini… there is a lot of emotions to process and a lot of emotional forecasting. The Sun in opposition is both feeling optimism for the year ahead while potentially feeling a little moody about what’s gone down this year. I feel like the energy of Janus needs to be invoked.
In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus is the god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, frames, and endings. Gemini’s glyph appears as two pillars, creating a portal. Mercury, our affiliate of Gemini season, is the protector of travelers as they move through space — the hell and heaven realms, earth — the past, present, and future and the subconscious and conscious minds.
Sagittarius is the traveler in this analogy and so oft associated with long-distance travel, philosophy as the travel of the mind, and the experiencer who collects the stories.
The Gemini Moon asks us to integrate what is holding us back and to move towards what emotionally liberates us. Listening to the little self, our inner child, and recognizing the power of our thoughts, words, and deeds and how we cast spells and change reality with our body, speech, and mind. Where have we been spreading ourselves too thin? Where is our inability to commit a hindrance? When are we manipulative with our speech?
This is where the power of pause comes into play. Taking a moment between our thoughts and our speech, our thoughts and our deeds, and allowing for the integration of emotional material and input that may be influencing the next choice.
Choices create our reality.
With Neptune’s square to the Sun and Full Moon being the primary aspect of this lunation (annnnnd ima also including the inconjunct and semisextile to Uranus here, too, stay tuned) we have a lot of fuzzy delusions, escapism, defeat, and discouragement coming into play the day of the Full Moon and the days surrounding it.
Neptune is that piece of all as connected. It is the dream space. It is imagination. It is romanticism and fanaticism. It is faith in outcomes and the abandonment of hope all folded into one.
Add a little friction by a 90-degree angle and you have yourself a day of uncertainty about your life’s direction or a misperception of the year behind us.
If you start feeling fuzzy, confused, unclear or downright out of synch with reality—- it is, time to phone a friend, to journal, to use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and any method of check-in that will help you to identify if your thoughts are true or if you are projecting (Neptune) a bunch of bogus delusions onto your life.
What do I know to be true?
How are my emotions influencing my perception?
What are the stories I’m telling myself and how can I return to a grounded and factual sense of what is?
What is the gap between my ideal reality and what is possible, feasible, realistic, and attainable?
I believe anything is possible… but as my friend Vera Lester reminds us in her coaching— you can only do so much in a day, but you can accomplish a lot in a year.
You did A LOT this year. Take this full moon to rest and relish rather than relinquish your power and idealize a reality that is not real.
To fold in the Uranian aspects to this lunation… tension is vital to growth. When we can’t see what we are battling it can feel like an invisible monster, an obstacle that is not workable or manageable. If you can’t deal with things head-on… then don’t. Pause. Indecision is not a space to move from. Wait for clarity. Then respond.
Janus, god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, frames, and endings.
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NOTES FROM THIS ONE…
I am absolutely not where I expected to end up this year.
I suppose that is what keeps life interesting, is all the curve balls and unexpected chaos that we get to respond to.
If things were easy all the time, it would be boring.
If we were constantly getting exactly what we want, would we be able to get really clear about what we want? Or what is actually helpful for our trajectory?
I think about that scene from Bohemian Rhapsody (cause I love that film) when Freddy is begging the band to take him back. He went on his financially (and ego) motivated side quest with studio musicians that did everything he wanted and the outcome was absolute sh*t. He wanted pushback, he wanted opinions, he wanted the tension and feedback from Queen to create the epic music they created out of their collaboration.
Life is collaborative. It is chaos. It is a billion variables and molecules all responding to one another in this infinite cycle of creation and destruction.
Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end… and in that end there is a rebirth, a transformation.
I hope you can close this year with some celebration and reflection. I hope as the Sun angles itself to the darkest point in the sky (making driving difficult no matter what the time of day!) that you light a candle, make some hot cocoa or tea and know that the days will get longer, that this too shall pass and that this— whatever this is— is worth living, worth fighting for, worth enduring, worth floating through.
stay inspired.
ursidae
